Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem
ON ONE
OCCASION, we were sitting at the dastarkhan[1]
and our Sheikh, Hadhrat Moulana Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb رَحْمَةُ اللهِ عَلَيْهِ was also present. One of the brothers dropped a
tumbler and water spilt across the dastarkhan. On hearing the disturbance,
Hadhrat Moulana رَحْمَةُ اللهِ عَلَيْهِ asked: “What
happened?”
Someone
responded: “The glass fell.”
Hadhrat
Moulana رَحْمَةُ اللهِ عَلَيْهِ asked: “Did
the glass fall on its own?”
In
correcting the Mureed and all of us, Hadhrat رَحْمَةُ اللهِ عَلَيْهِ said: “Learn to take responsibility for your
actions. Say: ‘I dropped the glass.’”
This was
a lesson for everyone. Hadhrat Moulana رَحْمَةُ اللهِ عَلَيْهِ
was bringing to our attention the great need to bear the responsibility or
blame of whatever we do. …Till the person does not take responsibility, his
Islaah (reformation) will not be made. Regrettably, we don’t and we won’t take
responsibility of our actions. Sometimes we refuse to acknowledge that we are
doing something wrong or that there is a weakness in us. There is denial. We find this same denial with many drug addicts,
alcoholics and others. As long as the person is in a state of denial, he or she
does not take help.
If a sick
person is in denial, the person will not seek treatment. Similarly, a person is
spiritually sick – he has an anger problem or he cannot control his gaze, but
he says: “I don’t have any problem.” …This
denial makes Islaah very difficult. Once a person acknowledges there is a
problem, then that is half the battle won and half way to solving the problem.
If a person admits he has faults and weaknesses and he goes to a Sheikh for this
purpose, there will be Islaah, Insha-Allah. …Unfortunately, some go for worldly
reasons, such as obtaining Khilafat, and not with a sincere intention.
Sometimes
there is stubbornness in our stance that we are right – when, in fact, we are
wrong. If there is a car accident, each party blames the other. The other
driver was at fault. Most drivers will declare that they were abiding by the
rules and regulations and are blameless – despite driving through the red
traffic light, speeding or violating some other traffic law.
If there
is a fight between husband and wife, the husband will say: “She is the problem.” And
the wife will say: “He is the problem.” …Do we ever hear anyone saying: “I am to blame. I am the problem.”? …And
this is where the problem lies. Most people are not truthful and sincere
enough, nor humble to take the blame when in the wrong. Between brothers and
sisters, other family members, or in business dealings, if any problems arise,
the same scenario is found. We are not prepared to accept responsibility;
rather we blame the other party.
People,
in general, have this great weakness of shifting responsibility to others and
are very quick to blame everyone else, seeking to absolve themselves. …If
anything goes wrong, we look for someone to blame. If anything goes right, we
are in the front line to take the credit. This is a common weakness and is a
very serious matter. It is a sickness if we think that everyone else is wrong
and we are always right.
This
denial is a form of pride. The person refuses to acknowledge that he is wrong
or refuses to acknowledge what is true. He is also not being sincere to
himself. Say: “I am wrong.” Learn
to acknowledge and admit: “I am wrong. I
am to blame.” What is so difficult in this?
There is
progress in taking responsibility of our actions and accepting blame. This humility will melt hearts and will solve
our problems. It is a beautiful quality to have. Unfortunately, shaytaan
whispers: If you say that you are wrong,
your wife (or your employees) will take advantage and won’t listen to you in
future. Your wife will say: “You are always wrong!”… You have to wield control.
You have to show her that you are in charge, so that she listens…. You have to
show your employees who is in charge!
Don’t
listen to shaytaan. Listen to Allah Ta’ala and Rasulullah Sallallaahu
‘alayhi wasallam. That person who adopts noble character, humbles
himself, forgives, overlooks, and abandons arguing when he is right, opens the
doors of reconciliation, Muhabbah (love), unity and happiness. Allah Ta’ala
says:
[Surah Fussilaat
41 : 34]
Rasulullah
Sallallaahu
‘alayhi wasallam said: “I guarantee a house in the
outskirts of Paradise to the one who gives up arguing even if he were on the
right side.”[2]
On
another level, there are those who say that they did not get an opportunity to
learn Dien, learn Qur’aan Sharief, do Hifz, and were not taught the practical
side of Dien – because their parents were neglectful and indifferent and did
not send them to Madrasah, etc. They say that their parents deprived them of
all those opportunities. Again, the fault is placed on the other party. No
doubt, in such a circumstance, the parents are to be blamed. Parents have a
responsibility of seeing to the Tarbiyyah and spiritual nurturing of their
children – but what stops a person now
from learning Dien, learning the Qur’aan Sharief and getting occupied in good?
Your
failure is not outside of you. …Our success or failure does not lie
outside of us. Our success or failure lies inside of us.
Take
lesson from the cow: Its diet comprises mainly of grass, grains and water – so
limited! However, with that grass, it produces milk and from that milk, what
not is made! Cheese, cottage cheese, yoghurt, butter, ghee, condensed milk,
fresh cream, buttermilk, ice-cream, etc. are produced.
If a
person had limited opportunities in life, it does not mean that he now cannot
make the most of what he has of life, skill and resources! Where there’s a
will, there’s a way. We have heard of people in their seventies and eighties
completing Hifz of the Qur’aan Sharief. Allahu Akbar! Nothing deterred them
from pursuing noble goals – not even their old age!
Let us
take responsibility of our actions and our lives. No one else is accountable
for our lives, except ourselves. It is up to us to utilise the gift of life
productively; instead of wasting it by blaming others for what has past.
May Allah
Ta’ala grant us the understanding and the Taufeeq of practising.
By Hadhrat Moulana Abdul Hamid Is`haq Sahib (Daamat Barakaatuhu)
[1] floor mat for eating
[2] Abu Dawood
