Thursday 25 August 2016

Dealing with Tests



Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem


EVERYONE FACES TESTS IN LIFE. There is no one that escapes the tests of this life. Allah Ta’ala clearly informs us that He will test us.


“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return." Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided.”

[Surah Al-Baqarah 2 : 155/156/157]


So problems and difficulties will arise … which could be in respect to the individual himself or herself, or relating to the family or community. A person may have a financial problem, domestic problem; there may be fights in the family, a divorce, someone who is terminally ill or bedridden and the list of tests and challenges goes on.


When faced with difficulty, we generally adopt the wrong mind-set and approach. We sometimes see the problem as a huge obstacle, disregarding the millions and billions of bounties we have been blessed with, or we entertain negative thoughts about Allah Ta’ala, or we become despondent, or we just want to give up or choose to give up … and sadly, there are those who even contemplate suicide … whereas suicide is no escape.


When a person has a wrong mind-set and looks at his problem as the “be all and end all” of his life, making it the main focus in his life, then it will be an unsurmountable mountain for him. It will seem larger than his life. …And we know that often, in desperation, people try all kinds of treatments and therapies – some of which have their association and affiliation with other religions – and this then causes harm to the person’s Dien and only increases his problems.


Many go for ‘Umrah to get some relief from their problems; some go out in Jamaat seeking to find some solution; others go to the Khanqah with the hope that their problems will dissipate. And some go to the Buzurgs for Taweezes, hoping that will solve their problems. Sometimes the request is for a Taweez for money, or for Barkat, or for Shifa, or for something else. …It should be understood that the Taweez itself is not what solves problems. Allah Ta’ala is One who places effect and benefit in something.  However, the best course of action to solve one’s problems is to give up all sins, be obedient to Allah Ta’ala, to live the Sunnah, bring into one’s daily routine the various Masnoon Duas, and to give quality time to the Qur’aan Sharief – which invites Barakah and Rahmah and is a means of tremendous goodness.


Some people take Bay`at but the intention is not Islaah (reformation). The purpose is to sort out the difficulties or the crises that the person is faced with. The intention for Bay’at is due to financial, marital, health or other problems – not with sincerity to reform. One person came to the Khanqah of our respected Sheikh, Hadhrat Moulana Hakim Muhammad Akhtar Saheb (Rahmatullah ‘alaih) and requested permission to take Bay’at. When asked why he wanted to take Ba’yat, the brother said: “To solve my problems.”


Hadhrat Moulana said to him, and would tell others as well: “Bay’at is a separate matter. Sort out your problems first, then take Bay'at. ”


Understanding Tests

Our seniors have said that we look at our problems from a very narrow perspective. We think: In my life, this is my problem and it is a very big problem. …And we then allow it to consume our lives. At times, we may make a mountain out of a mole hill or we may stir up a storm in a teacup – because we lack coping skills or we may not have the knowledge and understanding. No doubt, some afflictions are great tests. However, from Allah Ta’ala’s Side, Allah Ta’ala does not burden us more than we can bear:


“On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear…’
[Surah Al-Baqarah 2:  286]

Furthermore, Allah Ta’ala gives us the reassurance and guarantee that with every hardship there will be ease:


“So indeed with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.”
[Surah Al-Inshirah 94:6]


Then again, were we to reflect, we would find that some setbacks and hardships are due to our sins and disobedience to Allah Ta’ala, so that we turn to Him and return to Him.


For many of us, our tests are not as major as they seem – especially when compared to the tests that our brothers and sisters face in Syria, Palestine, Burma, Central Africa and other parts of the world – where there is oppression, incarceration, rape, persecution, starvation, bombings, murder of their children and entire families, razing of their homes, living as refugees, denied freedom of religion, etc. May Allah Ta’ala ease their conditions and grant them peace after all the adversity, and grant them happiness after all their grief.


The Hereafter


One easy way to change our thinking and perception of our tests is to think of the Aakhirah. This worldly life is so fleeting and so insignificant that Rasulullah said: “The life of this world compared to the hereafter is as if one of you were to put his finger in the ocean and take it out again then compare the water that remains on his finger to the water that remains in the ocean.”[1]


A person may live 60 years or 70 years, but in comparison to the Aakhirah which is forever, those 60 or 70 years are not even two minutes. Allah Ta’ala safeguard us all, but if a person is in a coma for 10 years or even 20 years, then in comparison to the Aakhirah it is like a second or two seconds. Allah Ta’ala presents a comparison to the Aakhirah:


“He (Allah) will say: "What number of years did you stay on earth?"
They will say: "We stayed a day or part of a day. Ask of those who keep account."
He (Allah) will say: "You stayed not but a little, if you had only known!”
[Surah al-Muminun 23: 112-114]


Our pain and our grief may seem overwhelming in this world, but when we reach the Aakhirah, it will be considered less than a prick of a needle…. In a Hadith, Rasulullah described the day of Judgement and said regarding the person who experienced the most hardship: “One of the people of Jannah who had experienced extreme misery in the life of this world will be dipped in Jannah. Then he will be asked: "O son of Adam! Did you ever experience any misery? Did you ever encounter difficulty?" He will say: "By Allah, no, I neither experienced misery nor passed through hardship".[2]


So why make one problem of your life, your whole life’s problem?


Trust in Allah Ta’ala


Keep the gaze on Allah Ta’ala, Who is Al-Wadud (Loving) and full of Mercy and Kindness. ...During the Hijrah, difficulties and hardships had to be endured; great sacrifices had to be made – by Rasulullah as well as his noble compantions (Radhiyallahu 'anhum).


At the time of Hijrah, when Rasulullah  left the outskirts of Makkah Sharief, he  stopped his camel, turned and looked back at Makkatul Mukkaramah - his birthplace, where he had spent his youth, where he had married, where his family resided, where he passed all of the years of his life, until that moment. He said: “Of all Allah’s earth, you are the dearest place to me and the dearest to Allah. Had my people not driven me out from you, I would not have left you.”


Whilst in the cave of Thaur, in hiding, Hadhrat Abu Bakr (Radhiyallahu 'anhu) was overcome with fear and concern for the safety of Rasulullah . Rasulullah calmed him with these beautiful words, which clearly made manifest his full and beautiful trust in Allah Ta’ala:


“Don’t be sad; indeed, Allah is with us.”
[Surah At-Taubah 9:40]

A Believer maintains his faith and hope in the promises of Allah Ta’ala. He takes comfort and courage knowing that Allah Ta’ala is with him.


A Believer keeps his attention on the Aakhirah, which is what is real and lasting. If we do so, we will find our tests easier to deal with and also find it easier to get over. Otherwise, a negative mindset is like a leak in a boat … and this negativity sometimes sinks the boat of life. …Our life is like a boat and our Imaan (Faith) and Tawakkul (Trust) in Allah Ta’ala are our oars that we use to steer our boats to the shore of the Aakhirah, and Insha-Allah, reach safety. Rowing a boat requires a lot of power and strength and rowing the boat of life requires much more strength – spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally. The Believer draws tremendous strength from the Qur’aan Sharief and the Sunnah. There’s just no giving up for one who establishes contact with Allah Ta’ala.


Of course, we should not ask for difficulty. Ask Allah Ta’ala for Aafiyah (well-being and protection).  Rasulullah said: “Ask Allah for forgiveness and Aafiyah, for verily after Imaan, none is given anything better than Aafiyah.”[3]


Allah Ta’ala guides us to a prescription and treatment, which is sure to heal our grief and lighten the burden upon the heart and soul:


“O you who believe! Seek help in patience and the prayer. Certainly, Allah is with the patient. …”
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:153)


Indeed, the person who adopts patience will find that Allah Ta’ala is his companion and source of strength; and when he takes to standing before His Rabb in Salaah, and presents his broken heart or the wounds of his heart, will find that his Salaah is a means of mending his broken heart and healing the wounds of his heart.


Allah Ta’ala also informs us that patience draws great rewards; rewards without measure!

“…Those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!”
[Surah Az-Zumar 39 : 10]


Hadhrat Hasan al-Basri (Rahmatullahi ‘alayh) had said: “Do not despise the calamities that come and the tragedies that occur. It may be that in something that you dislike, lies your salvation, and perhaps in something that you like, lies your ruin.”


Tafweez and Ridha bil Qadha


Whilst we will adopt Tadbeer – that is, we will adopt the correct Asbaab (means) and will make an effort, we will resign ourselves to the final outcome – Taqdeer. When it comes to tests and challenges that come a person’s way, the proper solution is to adopt Tafweez. The thinking should be: O Allah, You have decreed it and I accept Your decision.


At one time, the great Scholar Hadhrat Moulana Anwar Shah Kashmiri (Rahmatullahi ‘alayh) had the condition of piles …and piles can be very painful and also causes bleeding. The condition persisted for two or three weeks. A close associate, who made Hadhrat Moulana’s Khidmat said to him: “Hadhrat, you are an Amaanat of the Ummah. …The Ummah is in need of your knowledge …and you cannot serve the Ummah in this illness. Take treatment.”


The Khaadim encouraged in that direction until Hadhrat Moulana raised his hand and said: “This is a gift from above … This is a gift from Allah Ta’ala.”


That was his lofty level of Tafweez and Ridha bil Qadha. It goes without saying that we are not of that category. We are weak and we should take treatment and medication, which is also in conformity with the Sunnah. However, after adopting the means, adopt Tafweez and nurture the quality of Ridha bil Qadha – be satisfied with whatever Allah Ta’ala decides for you.


...On one occasion, Hadhrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi (Rahmatullah ‘alaih) asked Hadhrat Moulana Abdul Ghani Phulpoori (Rahmatullah ‘alaih): “Is there a stage higher than Ikhlaas (sincerity)?”


Hadhrat Moulana Abdul Ghani (Rahmatullah ‘alaih) replied: “Ikhlaas is a very high stage; I cannot think of anything higher than that.”


Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi (Rahmatullah ‘alaih) then said: “Ridha Bil Qadha is higher than even Ikhlaas.”


…Hadhrat Hāji Imdadullah (Rahmatullah ‘alaih) had said that Ikhlaas is amongst the last accomplishments of a Seeker (Saalik). However, we take it that we have Ikhlaas from the beginning. This is the deception of nafs and shaytaan.


Take the example of mountains: many mountain ranges have different crests or peaks before the summit is reached. These are just subsidiary peaks of the mountain. There is a long way up. …Mount Everest, Mount Kilimanjro and other mountains are not climbed overnight. It takes months of preparation and training and then weeks to climb and reach the summit. In this spiritual journey to Allah Ta’ala, sometimes we reach just one of the crests of the mountain, and we think we have reached the top. However, we need to continue; we need to climb higher.


So higher than Ikhlaas is being content with Allah Ta’ala’s decisions. There is no doubt, that it is not play when adverse conditions come. It is not easy … but the true servant of Allah Ta’ala accepts and adapts himself to what Allah Ta’ala’s decrees. He will not complain about Allah Ta’ala’s Decisions.


Hadhrat Mirza Jaane Jaan (Rahmatullahi ‘alayh) was a great Wali of Allah Ta’ala and was made Shaheed. He was shot at close range. At that time, he was asked about his condition. He replied: “My heart is 100% content but my nature is sensitive and I cannot take the smell of gun powder.”


Hadhrat Mirza Jaane Jaan (Rahmatullahi ‘alayh) was known for his extremely sensitive disposition and therefore mentioned that the smell of the gun powder could not be endured. However he still maintained Ridha Bil Qadha on his condition.


May Allah Ta’ala also grant us these noble qualities.


Good Expectations of Allah Ta’ala


Rasulullah said, “Allah Ta’ala said, ‘I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am.’”[4]


Imam Nawawi (Rahmatullahi alayh) had said that the ‘Ulama had explained that to expect the best of Allah Ta’ala is to expect that He will have Mercy on one and relieve one of hardship. Our Akaabir and Aslaaf would say: “When a crisis comes your way, utilise your good expectations of Allah in order to repel it. This will bring you closer to relief.”


Hadhrat Sa’id bin Jubayr (Rahmatullahi ‘alayh) would make Dua: “O Allah, I ask you to grant me true reliance on You and good expectations of You.”


Rasulullah advised Hadhrat ‘Abdullah bin ‘Abbas (Radiyallahu ‘anhu): “Be mindful of Allah, you will find Him before you. Get to know Allah in prosperity and He will know you in adversity. And know that what has passed you by [and you have failed to attain] was not going to befall you, and what has befallen you was not going to pass you by. And know that help comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship.”[5]


One of our Aslaaf had beautifully said: “There are blessings in calamity and tragedy that the wise man should not ignore. It erases sins and gives one the opportunity to obtain the immense rewards for patience. It dispels negligence and heedlessness, reminds one of blessings at the time of health, invites one to repent and encourages one to spend in charity.”


May Allah Ta’ala grant us ease in this worldly life, grant us the qualities of Tafweez and Ridha Bil Qadha in all situations and conditions, grant us good expectations of Allah Ta’ala and grant us a safe passage out of this world, that we return to Him on Imaan and Islam. Aameen.



By Hadhrat Moulana AbdulHamid Is`haq Saheb (Daamat Barakaatuhum)



[1] Sahih Muslim
[2] Sahih Muslim
[3] Sunan Tirmidhi, Hadīth: 3558
[4] Sahih Al-Bukhari
[5] Tirmidhi


Wednesday 3 August 2016

Prescriptions for Hidayah | The Importance of Ta’leem and Dua


Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem


By Hadhrat Moulana AbdulHamid Is`haq Saheb (Daamat Barakaatuhum)


Often, people request Duas for the guidance of some family member or someone else, who is far from Dien or who has even left Islam. There is concern for the person’s Imaan and Aakhirah (hereafter), and the desire is for him or her to come back on track. Sometimes, a parent is requesting Dua for a child’s Hidayah (guidance), or a child is requesting Dua for the parent’s Hidayah or a person is requesting Dua for a spouse, a sibling or a friend – who has no interest in practising on Dien, or who is influenced very strongly by other cultures, customs and ideologies, or is in bad company and has adopted bad habits.


The situation can be aggravated when the person is a drug addict, alcoholic, gambler, porn addict, etc. Sometimes, even in a Dieni family, there is one member who is different. …As people say, ‘the black sheep of the family’; the odd one out, the one who is sometimes a test for the family, due to some bad action/s. …Of course, we should never look down upon anyone. The one who is considered the ‘black sheep’ can turn to Allah Ta’ala, repentant and regretful, and leave this world as the friend of Allah Ta’ala. On the other hand, sometimes a person may have the outward appearance and the outward actions of piety but the heart is the heart of a wolf. Don’t we hear people use the term, “a wolf in sheep’s clothing”?


Nonetheless, there is this concern, worry and anxiety for the person to change for the better; to connect with Allah Ta’ala. And really, this should not only be a concern for those we know and love; rather it should be a concern for everyone in the world … that everyone is guided to the straight path. 

…What can we do? What should we do?


Our Akaabir have presented two very effective prescriptions to bring a person, who is far from Dien, back to Dien, and these prescriptions are also simple and easy.


TA’LEEM


The first is to have Ta’leem (Kitaab reading) in the home, regularly, and to also be part of that Ta’leem. This has been proven to be a means of tremendous good and benefit for entire family, and a means of Hidayah and Istiqaamah (steadfastness). 


…There is an incident that took place many years ago, when the television was the main enemy. Nowadays, there are many more mediums of Fitnah and sin, with the Internet, social media, Instagram and so forth.


A pious man had two daughters. When they grew up, they took a different path, choosing to live a very modern life. They even purchased a television and brought it into the home. That naturally upset and angered the father. Whilst he tried his best to reform them and tried to prevent them from their wrong ways, his hard-line approach brought about more defiance and rebellion. …Usually, harshness makes the situation worse. 


Unfortunately, the mother began to also side with the daughters in whatever they were doing, despite their actions being un-Islamic and wrong. A time came when the daughters even demanded their shares of inheritance and threatened their father. In his desperation, the father wrote to Hadhrat Moulana In’aamul Hasan Saheb (Rahmatullah ‘alayh) and explained the problem, as well as how he had handled the situation. Hadhrat Moulana (Rahmatullahi ‘alayh) replied: “You went against the principles of this work. Our work is not harshness. All you do is start with Ta’leem. Ten minutes of Ta’leem daily. That is all.”


The father then requested that his daughters spare him just ten minutes for the daily Ta’leem and he would not say anything to them. …That was a small request if it meant having their freedom and being able to do as they like. However, the Barakah (Blessings) and the impact of the Ta’leem was soon evident. One day, after about two weeks, the father returned home and found that the television was thrown out of the house and his daughters had repented from their bad habits. Alhamdulillah.


This is the experience in many cases. The daily Ta’leem became a means of change and reformation. Of course, we have to be constant and not just give up within a few days or weeks. This should continue even if there are changes and improvements witnessed.


We have heard the story of an elderly man who had to deal with a family that was totally uninterested in Deen – the children and grandchildren. He commenced Ta’leem daily in the house even though no one from the family sat to listen or participate. He would take his topees and would place them around him as if they represented people. He would conduct the Ta’leem as if sharing the advices with each topee. The family members would pass by and observe the strange sight but they did not join. His patience, perseverance and his sincerity finally bore fruit, when one day, one member of the family, feeling some sympathy, came and sat for the Ta’leem. Thereafter, another joined and another, until the entire family not only joined in for the Ta’leem but Alhamdulillah, in due time, became practical on Dien.


One person said to me that he thought there was no solution to the situation that he faced and was surprised at the effects of something so simple as having Ta’leem in the home. 


Our Akaabir have presented the prescription but the need is application. Don’t take the prescription and frame it. If a person is sick and he goes to a doctor, the doctor diagnoses his sickness and gives him some prescription. He will have to go to the chemist, obtain the medication and thereafter follow through with the instructions. If he takes the doctor’s prescription and frames it and shows it to all who visit his home, that won’t solve his problem and will not make him better. …Similarly, we will have to do something for our spiritual well-being and that of our families. We will have to get practical by following through with the advices of our Mashaa’ikh.


Allah Ta’ala knows, in His Wisdom, when the person will change but from our side, we should not write off any one. There is potential for change in every person.


DUA


The second prescription that we have been given is that of Dua. Dua is very effective.


When we hear of some sad news: someone has taken ill, someone has met up with an accident – how many of us make Dua? ...Unfortunately, our response is sometimes one of sarcasm and mockery. If a person is diagnosed with lung disease or cancer, or heart disease, and he was a smoker, someone will pass the remark: “Tell him to smoke more!” Or the person had the habit of driving very fast and he met up with an accident, then the remark will be: “Tell him to drive faster next time …”


This is not the approach of a Muslim. When someone is ill, when someone has met up with accident, or whatever the situation may be, make Dua for the person. Even if the person was doing the wrong thing – like smoking, speeding, etc. – it does not mean that we show no compassion and no mercy. We should take a lesson for ourselves. However, Allah Ta’ala describes the Believers:

رُحَمَآءُ بَيْنَهُمْ
“Merciful among themselves”
[Surah Al-Fath 48 : 29]


Rasulullah Sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said: “You will observe that the Believers are like the parts of the body in relation to each other in matters of kindness, love and affection. When one part of the body is afflicted, the entire body becomes restless (and feels the pain).”[1] 


When any Muslim has a problem, it should be considered our problem. The grief of another Muslim should be our grief; his hurt, pain and sadness should also be felt by us. And we should make Dua for him and for ourselves – that Allah Ta’ala grants ease and alleviates his circumstance; that Allah Ta'ala protects us also, and if there is any loss, that Allah Ta’ala grants something better.
                                                           
There should be concern for everyone.


MEANS OF PROTECTION 


When we see someone who is sick or is in some difficulty we should quietly read the prescribed Sunnah Dua. By doing so, we are informed, in the Hadith, that that condition will not befall us.

اَلْحَمْدُ لِلّٰهِ الَّذِيْ عَافَانِيْ مِمَّا ابْتَلَاكَ بِهٖ، وَفَضَّلَنِيْ عَلٰى كَثِيْرٍ
 مِّمَّنْ خَلَقَ تَفْضِيْلًا

All praise is due to Allah who has saved me from that with which He afflicted you and gave me excellence over most of whom He created.[2]


Our Sheikh, Hadhrat Moulana Muhammad Akhtar Saheb رَحْمَةُ اللهِ عَلَيْهِ would say that when any sad news is conveyed, we should also follow through with the Sunnah of reciting,

اِنَّا لِلّٰهِ وَ اِنَّا اِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُوْن
“To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.”


 We should not stop at this point; rather complete it by reciting the Dua:

اَللّٰهُمَّ اْجُرْنِيْ فِيْ مُصِيْبَتِيْ وَأَخْلِفْ لِيْ خَيْرًا مِّنْهَا

Allahumma-jurni fi musibati wa akhlif li khayran minha

“O Allah, reward me for my affliction and replace it for me with that which is better.”


MURAQABAH-E-DUA


Our Akaabir and Mashaa’ikh have taught us another extremely beneficial and effective prescription which is through Muraqabah-e-Dua – that is, without lifting the hands, a person should concentrate and focus on his heart and make Dua from his heart, with full sincerity.


To cite an example of the effectiveness of Muraqabah-e-Dua: Recently, a lady, here in South Africa, gave up Islam. Many people tried to advise her and guide her. 'Ulama spoke to her, the Jamaat brothers also made an effort to bring her back to Islam – but she was indifferent towards their efforts and firm on her stance. One Aalim, who has contact with a Shaykh and knew the power of Muraqbah-e-Dua, decided to also visit the sister.


…Of course, if we are going to be speaking to any strange woman – and that too, due to some valid reason - then we should not go alone, especially, if there is no Mahram or husband who will also be present.  We should not be alone with a strange woman because the Hadith is clear on the prohibition as well as the effort that shaytaan makes in such a situation. Rasulullah Sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said: “No man is alone with a strange woman, but shaytaan is the third among them.” [3]


Rasulullah Sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said: “It is not permissible for a man to be alone with a woman…”[4]


There should be at least three people going together and Insha-Allah in this, there will be safety from falling into Fitnah.


This Aalim went to the sister’s home, and in all probability with someone, or when she was not alone at home. On seeing him, with his Kurta, beard, etc. she immediately assumed that he too had come there to convince her to return to Islam. However, he adopted a different approach. He said: “Aunty, I have come to have a cup of tea…”


That request eased the tension and she agreed to make the cup of tea. Whilst she was making the tea, he turned to Allah Ta’ala and made Dua with his heart: O Allah, I cannot do anything. You are the Doer of everything. You give her Hidayat. You guide her….


Not even a minute later, she returned from the kitchen and said to them: “Alhamdulillah, I have accepted Islam. I saw my Imaan like a dove, sitting on my heart, and now it has entered into my heart.”


This is the power of Dua – which we tend to underestimate.


Similarly, there are Fitnahs that are raining upon us … descending in our homes like the rain, as described in the Hadith[5]. We should turn to Allah Ta’ala and make Dua for protection, for Istiqaamah, for death on Imaan. Rasulullah Sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam said: “Nothing can change the Divine decree except Dua.”[6]


Sheikhul Hadith, Hadhrat Moulana Muhammad Zakariya (Rahmatullahi ‘alayh) would spend between two and four hours in Muraqabah-e-Dua. Hadhrat Moulana In’aamul Hasan (Rahmatullahi ‘alayh) would spend the time between Asr and Maghrib in Dua for the Ummah … as well as make Dua for the non-Muslims. They would not only make Dua regarding Deeni matters. If there were riots, drought, flood, earthquake … they would make Dua for relief from hardship. They had concern for everyone and made Dua for everyone.


We all have families, extended families, neighbours, friends and of course, we are also part of the Ummah of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) and we all know that things are not right in the Ummah, not right in our families, not right in our neighbourhood, etc. So Dua should be resorted to … Turn to Allah Ta’ala, ask of Allah Ta’ala. Then see the power of Dua.


May Allah Ta’ala guide us and grant us the understanding and concern and the Taufeeq of sincere Dua for ourselves and for all.




[1] Sahih Bukhari
[2] This Dua should not be read aloud, such that the person hears, since it could hurt his  feelings.
[3] al-Tirmidhi
[4] Sahih Al-Bukhari
[5] Ibn Majah / At-Tirmidhi